More of My Old Limericks

 

The jester of Amalek's dead.
The Israelites chopped off his head.
His last witty thing
Was to point at the king:
"That's Saul, folks!" — the last words he said.


There once was a man of great wealth
Who was told, “This will not bring you health.”
He was told it a lot,
So he had the man shot,
And that pretty much speaks for itself.


Now, listen up all of you haters,
And I’ll give you the word about craters:
They are holes that are strewn
On the face of the Moon --
Well at least that’s the meat and potaters.


There once was a gourmand named Finney
Who hated to see people skinny,
Which I think best explains
Why he left his remains
To a cannibal tribe in New Guinea.


There once was a baby named Lou
And he grew and he grew and he grew,
And he grew and he grew,
And he grew and he grew,
But he stopped when he reached six foot two.


There are three hundred girls in distress
In a basement at USPS,
Where the postmaster hides
All the mail-order brides
Who were lacking a proper address.